Phan: Kiss me, Phil?
by mynameiscarmen
Summary: Okay so this was my first ever bash at writing fan fic! Hope you like it c:
1. Chapter 1

-Writers note!-

This is my first ever fanfic! Woo! I'm really nervous about this and I really don't know if it's any good? Leave comments pls guys, I like to chat!  
CYAAAAAA

-Chapter One  
(Dan's point of view)  
Do you ever get that feeling that you're being watched? Literally every move I make I feel is being analysed. I got sleep paralysis in the night when I had the exact feeling. I dreamt that I was asleep in my bed, when a figure stood tall over me. It was wearing a cloak, and had thin, black hair. But it's eyes were black too, I mean, not just the iris was black. The whole of its eye was black. I remember waking up in my dream and being face to face with it. The glimmer from my mac highlighting its sunken, bloody face. Accentuating the wrinkles with every flash. It grew closer and closer to my face. It finally got so close I could smell it's putrid breath, like rotten garbage and off meat. I finally woke up from the dream when Phil shook me hard, shouting for me to wake up. When I came around, the first thing I saw was his crystal blue eyes, so deep that I could swim in them forever. They put me into an almost trance state, calming me with their natural beauty. Almost completely different from the terrifiying ones I dreamt about. I came out of the trance when Phil broke the beautiful silence, his eyes growing with concern, boring into my mine.  
"Dan! Oh my God, are you okay? I thought you were dying! What were you dreaming about? All I heard was shouting and moaning, I thought you were being killed!" He throws another 20 questions at me, not taking notice of any of them as I enter the trance again. His words washing over me, cleaning away the fright that was once engraved on my face. I look back at him, noticing that he was only wearing pyjama bottoms. His chest so milky white, yet inviting with its promise of a strong hug and protection. The sunlight streaming from the gap in the curtains, reflecting off his raven hair. Perfectly straightened, with that "just woke up" look. His lips pink and plump, "oh God how I want to kiss them" I think to myself...  
"DAN!"  
I snap out of the trance state when Phil shouts at me, finally answering some of his many questions, starting with my dream. "Well you know earlier when I told you I felt someone watching me? I had that, only this time I could see it watching. My mac was on standby, so it was flashing, and it grew closer every time the flash went off. I felt it hold me down into my pillow. I swear it touched me! I got so scared, I couldn't move. I tried shouting but no words would come out! I don't know-" before I could even finish Phil had pulled me into the best hug of my life. He casually slung his arms around my waist and cradled me until I calmed down. His touch ignited my skin, bursts of electricity as his arms touched mine. He pulls away after what seems like a life time of perfection. Phil wasn't gay? Was he? No. Of course he isn't. I mean, he is just casual. We are best friends! Of course he hugs me when I'm upset. He wouldn't if he knew my secret though, would he? He wouldn't treat me the same if I told him I was utterly, 100%, painfully in love with him, would he?  
I gaze back into his eyes again, looking into them longingly. I notice he is staring into mine too. His arms still around my tanned waist. And before I even know what I'm doing it slips out  
"Kiss me, Phil?"

-Authors note!-  
So! Tell me what you think! I know it needs a lot of work! All advice is appreciated! Oh and do I carry on with this? I don't even know. Btw don't be nasty about this, I was very nervous about uploading in the first place!  
Thank you for reading!  
Abs


	2. Chapter 2

-Authors note-  
Okay, I advise you not to read if you are very young. Not too bad just detailed fondeling and makingout. ENJOY!

(Phil's pov)  
"DAN!" I scream, he was really worrying me now. Did he think this was funny? Scary me half to death? I haven't heard him scream like that since he found a mouse in the apartment. He seemed to come to when I shouted at him mind, maybe he wasn't joking. He finally answered the 100 questions I asked him, but before he could even finish talking about his dream I had thrown myself at him. I couldn't contain myself. I got to touch him, got to feel his warm, tanned skin on mine. I pulled away after a little while, incase he got suspicious. You see, Dan doesn't know I'm gay, and totally hung up on him. Just seeing those chocolate pools stare into mine makes me melt like putty. His curly, messy hobbit hair drives me insane! "Oh Daniel, if only you could see how much I love you..." I contemplate telling him, telling him my secret. Just so I could feel his lips on mine, his fingers entwined round mine like tree roots, his breath on my skin. That is if he felt the same way of course. He probably doesn't, I mean, he is beautiful. What would he want with scarred Phil, he could have any girl or boy he wanted! After I pulled away from the hug, I kept my hands around his waist and my eyes set on his. His mouth opens slightly, the words on the tip of his tongue come rolling out without control  
"Kiss me, Phil?"  
In that moment, time stopped. There was only me and him, collapsed in each others arms staring into each others eyes. I know he realised what he has said when his eyes widened in fear and he rolled out of his bed. Rushing out of the room. Only realising he was butt naked shortly after. I followed him into the hall, waiting a few seconds to give him a chance to make himself decent, and chase him into the living room. He looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes, almost apologetically, then sprints to the door. I get there before he does and block it with my skinny exterior. I know that he could easily shove me out of the way and escape, but he doesn't. He just stands in his Manchester University hoodie and his black skinnies.  
The light pools in from the blinds behind him in the living room. We meet eyes once more, except this time he averts my gaze straight away, embarrassed by his outburst in the bedroom (ooer hahahahaha :3). I feel as though I should make the first move, edging forward, my bare feet hitting the cold floor. Does he still want this? Does he still want me? I step closer again. Dan's breathing rapidly increases with every step.  
Step. Pant. Step. Pant.  
I finally reach about 10cm from him. Carefully lifting my arms to touch his face. I lean in, get half way and stop. Making sure he is okay with what I am about to do. I open my lips slightly, breathing in the cold air through my mouth. My lips puckering with the anticipation of the kiss. I lean in slightly again, reaching this face. Our lips brush, I can almost feel the sparks fly off them. He closes the gap between them. They sync perfectly, like they were meant to stay like that forever. Dan runs his tongue along my bottom lip, asking for access. I obviously grant him what he wants. We battle for dominance, and after a while Dan becomes the clear winner. He explores my mouth, making a groan escape my throat. I pull away blushing, embarrassed by my lack of self control, but he just laughs and pulls me back in. Like the moon pulls the tide, he had my control at his fingertips.  
This time the kiss is stronger, almost lost in the heat of the moment. He carries on exploring my mouth, touching my tongue affectionately. Nibbling my lips and his hand slides from my chest to my crotch, then to my bum. I can feel him smiling as I squirm at his touch, like he has wanted this for a long time. I got lost in passion and heat, never wanting his to end.

After what can only be described as an unimaginable couple of minutes, we finally pull away. Gasping for air we fall onto the sofa. Dan lays on top of me, and places his curly haired head on my chest. I think he fell asleep, as his breath intake slowed, well it was only 6:30am. I swore I heard him mutter "I love you, Phil..."

*5 hours later*  
(Dan's pov)  
I woke up on the sofa, laying on top of Phil. He was sound asleep, I laid just analysing his perfectly peaceful face. A smile flicked across his face before his eyes sleepily opened and adjusted to the afternoon light. He immediately looked down at me, and the dribble I'd left on his t-shirt. I mentally curse myself, "smooth Dan" I think as I sit up and move off Phil. He leans back down for a kiss, this time dominating me. It was totally relaxing, he demonstrates all of his skill and leaves me wanting more.  
"That was a taster of what is to come." Phil says, casually yet devilishly. This is a side to Phil I've never seen, soft and gentle, yet overpowering and dominating.  
"I should hope so too." I retort back, winking and pecking him on the lips before going to get a shower.


	3. Authors note

I'm sorry this isn't a chapter, but I really need help with deciding whether do end this fic or carry on with it. Comment and help a gal out! Thanks guys!


	4. Chapter 3

~Pre chapter note~  
So I kinda got inspired to write this by a Lana Del Rey song, "Dark Paradise". I suggest you listen to it whilst reading, it will kinda add too the atmosphere ^ . ^

(3rd person)  
*two weeks after the kiss, Dan and Phil are starting to get serious*

Dan, I can't sleep without you. Ever since I lost your beautiful chocolate eyes, your golden skin and those dimples my life is over. I'm writing even though your not here. What if you don't wait for me on the other side? If there even is one. I miss our secret kisses in public. I miss the way your hair looks on a morning. I miss that perfect smile, a smile that ruined me for anyone else. I miss us Dan. I want you to come back. I know you can't, but I am willing to take my own life to see you again. You don't leave me, ever. I think of you every second of my horrible days. You were the light of my life, the pages to my book.  
I don't know what to do without you here, playing Crash Bandicoot, eating all of the Malteasers. I'm broken and only you can fix me. You are the missing piece in my puzzle.  
When I think of the life we could of had it DESTROYS me, I think of the children we could of adopted, brought up as our own flesh and blood. Nobody compares to you! Your in my dreams, telling me your there. I can't touch you, feel your warmth anymore. If you can't live, neither can I.

I'm not complete without you.  
Which is why I'm writing this. Whoever finds this knows what I did was for us. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to carry us both, I guess that was one of your strong points. I love you to the Moon and back, my heart, my soul, lover and bestfriend, Dan.

"I jumped, you caught me.  
I laughed, you joked.  
I was down, you picked me up.  
I crumbled, you glued me back together.  
I loved you, you loved me back.

You jumped, I couldn't catch you.  
You forgot to laugh, I couldn't remind you.  
You were down, I couldn't hold you.  
You crumbled, I had no glue.  
You loved me, I still love you.

Without no warning or sign,  
You ventured to a world divine.  
I refused to say goodbye,  
Yet tonight I cry.  
My tears are for you my friend,  
But our legacy will not end.  
For I shall see you soon,  
But first I have living to do.  
I promise I won't forget,  
Your face is embedded in my heart."

Phi x

The gun wobbled as Phil brought it up to his face, looking down the barrel, into the darkness that would soon consume him.

Bang.

(Phil's pov)  
I woke when the gun fired. Was he alive? Was I? My frantic questions were answered when I felt his knees at the back of mine, and his hand entwined around mine. He always sensed when I had a nightmare, like he shared my dreams.

"Shhhh, it was just a dream, Philly. Just a dream. I'm here, I'm here for you. Always and forever. I love you."

My back and face pouring with sweat. I melted into Dan's torso, breathing in his sweet scent. He rocked me back and forth, like he did every night. It was the same dream, over and over. I was so frightened to loose him, it took over my life. So paranoid that he would love me anymore, he could have anyone he wanted. I mean he is Dan freakin Howell. I've seen the way girls look at him, but he never returns it. Only directs it to me, his Phil. I'm not myself without him anymore. He is my rock.

(Dan's pov)  
Phil was having another nightmare. I have to let him work it out in his mind. Figure out how to stop them, just the thought of him being in distress kills my soul.  
Which is why I can't tell him about Jesse. My ex-girlfriend. The only girl I ever loved. She called me the other day, asking to see me, telling me that she was in trouble and needed my help. I obviously wasn't keen on this idea, but agreed to meet her at Starbucks.

"Just a quick visit, and I'll be back before Phil even knows", how stupid was I not to realise what type of girl she is. Manipulative.

Anyway, I got there and she looks like a hooker. Orange skinned, blonde, dead hair and smudged red lip stick. Wow, how she has changed. I sit down and she throws herself at me. No "Hey, Dan how's it going?" Just bam, straight on the lips. I push her off immediately, repulsed by her 99p lipstick on my face and shout "Get the fuck off! YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT YOU SLUT. Don't ever come near me again, okay?"

"But Danny, this is the reason I came, I want you back. I was so stupid to throw you away. Your so hot" blah blah blah, some shit about why she cheated on me. She must've not heard the news that I'm gay now. I just ran out, straight back to our house, not looking back.

What if he doesn't believe me that I didn't kiss her? What if he hates me? I hate me. It's all my fault. I'm going to tell him, today. This can't be kept secret, I adore this guy...


	5. Chapter 4

~Authors note~  
So this chapter contains self harm and mild sex. It may trigger, I'm awful sorry if it does. Also if you actually read this, let me know, I would love to know what you all think! Byeeeeee!

(Dan's pov)  
Phil's night terrors get worse every night. His eyes have grown dark and heavy, his hair isn't shiny anymore. It is dull and lifeless. The nightmares don't stop at sleep, they infect his waking hours. He even slips from consciousness too. It is like his dreams are a wet towel, extinguishing every spark that used to make him. I love him, I can't think about something that isn't real kill him inside and out. I can't tell him about Jesse yet, he is too fragile. My little porcelain doll, pieced together with the finest intricacy, cracking before my very eyes.

*a few hours later*

I was laying on the sofa watching Buffy and eating cereal when I heard him sobbing. Not crying, sobbing. I ran through to my room, well if I can even call it my room anymore. Ever since we got together it has been our room, we never sleep alone anymore. Anyway, I swung open the door to find him on our bed with a tiny razor placed between the finger tips of his right hand. The sheets around him covered in his scarlet blood, staining them with his emotions.

Sometimes things get so hard, you can't understand and deal with all the emotions you have to process, the only way to do it is to run a blade along your arm. Releasing them in waves of red. It is like a snake bite. You have to suck out the poison. Your emotions are poison and the blade is your mouth. You think you are healing yourself.

Before he even realises I am there he runs it over his arm again. Bubbles of blood coming to the surface in little balls, rolling away to join the other stains on the sheets. I can't even understand why? I can't move fast enough, my feet planted to the floor like cement. He can talk to me. He has me! I run and knock the blade from his hand when my body responds to the signals my brain has been sending. He just looks at me, frightened and sad. His fear is so strong I can almost smell it in the air. I have no words, I just pull him into a hug, so strong nothing could break us apart. I rock him back and forth.

"Why Phil, please, I love you. Don't leave me doing this. Your slipping away, I can't feel you anymore. I can't feel your heart beating strong in your chest anymore. It cripples me, please tell me? What is it? I love you to the moon and back, baby. You are my perfect little angel. Please don't leave" I am frantic and I'm scared.

"I don't know, help me. Help me escape my dreams, Dan. They visit me when I'm conscious, they never leave. The people in them, I don't know who they are but they scare me. Imagine your worst nightmare, and times it by 1000. That is what I go through every night. They talk to me, telling me you don't love me, saying you sleep around with other people. They tell me I'm not worth the life I live, that I'm not worth you. But I love you, you are the only thing I care about anymore"

I lean in for a kiss, making our souls connect into one person. It suddenly becomes heated, sloppy and desperate. Teeth clash and he bites my bottom lip, making me groan and ache for him. I pull away quickly-

"Phil, this isn't a good idea, you're broken and fragile. I'm not hurting you, you don't really want this, you're just confused"

"No, I'm not, Dan you are the only thing I'm sure about anymore. I want you, I want to feel you again"

He leans back in, I have no objection anymore. He seems pretty damn sure he wants this. I want this.

Our mouths connect again, tongues battling for dominance. I let him beat me, control me. He lays on top of me, sliding his hand up my shirt and the other through my hair.

He groans "Take it off"

I oblige and wriggle from my favourite tee shirt. He does the same, along with his pants.

He slides his hand down to my crotch, growing harder with every touch. He unties my belt and the buttons on my skinny jeans, holding me in his fist tightly. Well, you can kinda guess what happened after that. Long story short, it ended with us both in the shower, exhausted from an amazing night.

We never really discussed Phil cutting himself after that, but if that is anything to go by, I know he is sorry for what he did.


	6. Chapter 5

~Authors note~  
Okay I'm uploading two nights in a row, I have no social life quite clearly! The last chapter was really sad, and you may be a little confused about the plot. So, basically dreams are really relevant in this fic. It is going to get smutty, but I'm a lil embarrassed to write it so I'm going to rope in some friends, (slave labour) for the next chapter. Anyways... I really didn't realise how many dream sequences I had used. Oopsys, hahah. Thanks for the read. By the way, nc-17 because of oral.

(Phil's pov)  
I haven't cut myself since that night, the night Dan also declared his love for me *happy dance*. I don't know why I did it, I have too many emotions to understand. It just seemed like the simple way out. The voices were telling me that Dan didn't love me, it was a joke.

"He's mocking you, you stupid little fag, who would want you? You should die. Do the world a favour, nobody gives a shit anymore. Go get that blade and cut your wrists and maybe you will. Dan is cheating on you, with that Jesse slut. Yep, all along. All these weeks he has been cuddling you, wishing it was her. He is probably going to leave you, like everybody else."

Sometimes the voices are soft, but then they get angry. Then the dreams start, they leave me in a sweating, frantic panic. They feel like that dream where you are falling, just like that.  
I should be thankful, the dream that Dan had caused him to admit he wanted me. But I haven't had one since the best night of my life. The voices toned down too, is it possible that Dan's love is making me sane? Which is really ironic concidering he makes me to insane with his beautiful body and personality that could put Jesus to shame...

(3rd person)  
The older raven haired boy was wearing his usual pair of skinny jeans and a casual tshirt, slumped on the sofa flicking through the terrible day time tv, when he felt warm hands covering his blue eyes. A pair of hands so beautiful they could only belong to Daniel Howell.

"Hello there my sexy boyfriend, why don't you come and join me in our room. Dress code nothing please." Dan purred into Phil's ear, making him squirm and become serverly turned on, very quickly.

Before Phil could reply or even react, Dan was gone. Phil had one million thoughts rushing through his mind,

"What if I'm not good? I've never been with a boy, I mean, I have done stuff. But not sex! Oh my God, right, first thing first. Clothes. Loose them. Socks? No socks. Okay, well done me, first task- complete! Next task- wait did Dan call me his boyfriend? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. No! I can't think about that right now. Okay, walking to our room is the next step"

Phil edged to the door, nervous as hell, stopping and looking through the open crack, (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOOL ooer :'3) all he could see was the bed perfectly laid. He eventually walked in to be pounced on and pinned to the wall by Dan.

"Don't speak, I'm in charge okay? Trust me, trust me..." Dan's voice trailed and became quieter the end of his sentence, only to be replaced by heavy pants. He was also partially naked, only wearing his Calvin Klein boxer shorts, his little Dan poking from them.

"So freaking hot" Phil thought to himself.

Dan started kissing Phil, hard, then soft. Varying his pressure to make him even more hard. Was that even possible? Clearly so. Biting and sucking his bottom lip, he slid down to his neck. Phil was squirming under him again, only adding fuel to Dan's fire (b-boom tsssssss, he isn't even on fire) nipping and sucking. Leaving little bruises, marking him as his territory. He slides again, this time much lower, towards his lower stomach. Phil knew exactly what game Dan was playing, and he was totally prepared to loose again and again if it meant pleasure.

"Phil, how much do you want me right now? I'm not going further unless you tell me" looking up at Phil, the lust and desire pooling from his eyes straight back into Dan's.

"Dan I want you, touch me. Please don't tease me Dan"

"Shout for me, shout my name and I will"

"No, your not getting me this way" Phil reached down to touch himself, not giving Dan the satisfaction of control, only to have his arms pinned back against the wall.

Phil winced with the pain of his throbbing dick, so desperate for Dan.

"Okay then, we will start back at the top, everytime you speak something other than my name we will start back at the top. Am I clear, Philly?"  
Phil nodded knowing that Dan was going to tease him lots now.

Dan repeated the same process, getting to Phil's lower stomach again before addressing Phil firmly again "Are you willing to shout my name now?" He stared at Phil mischievously.

"Please, p-ple-"

"Is my name please? No it is not. To the top again then." Dan got back to his feat, repeating the antagonisingly slow process again. Phil thought he was going to explode there and then, finally giving up to Dan's sick game.

"Dan, please now. I need you, I need to be inside you" Dan immediately dropped to his knees, reaching Phil's crotch again, wrapping his hand around his member. Stroking slowly, once again teasing Phil.

"Dan please! This isn't funny" A sadistic smile plastered across Dan's face once more. He picks up the pace making Phil gasp.

"Dan I'm gonna c-"

"Not yet your, not little Phil" He quickly wraps his mouth around Phil, swallowing him easily. Phil's release sends Dan over the edge, without even having to touch himself. They both collapse on the floor, breathing heavily. Phil came down from his orgasm quickly and finally had the ability to form real words again.

"Dan, that was amazing. How did you learn to do that?!" Phil verbalises, still panting.

"There is more to come, don't think your getting away that easily" he says pointing to his fully erect Dan.

"Suck it" Dan says winking at Phil, being followed by a smile.


	7. Chapter 6

Authors note~  
Hi, I uploaded again. Third night running. Hurrah for my social life, right? Anyways, I'm really excited about this next chapter, I'm afraid it is going to end tonight, but I will write more. Any suggestions of pairings? Anything but Snape and Harry, dat shit is sick. Thanks for the read.

(Phil's pov)  
The dreams, the voices and my anxiety is all gone. The man of my dreams helped me through one of the roughest patches I have ever came across, and I couldn't be more thankful. It has been a few days since our last "encounter" *wink wink*, and Dan seems really shifty. He knows that I'm better? We are fine, so I have no idea as to what could be bothering him. Except one thing, he keeps pulling this face. He is so deep in thought that his emotions are practically engraved onto his face, the only time I have ever seen him like this was when he was with Jesse. Dan loved her so much, before she came a stupid blonde bitch. She had perfect, shoulder length, chocolate brown hair that was always dip dyed emerald and her lips forever coated in crimson lipstick that was always found on Dan's face. A few months after the beginning of their relationship Jesse messed around behind his back, always with some guy who had a name like Zac or Chad. The total opposite of Dan, always horrible to her, used her for sex and couldn't give a damn what happened to her.

Dan was so attached, he knew perfectly well that his girl was sleeping around, so scared that she would leave him, he pretended he didn't know. Acting fine on the outside but crying in my arms every night. I was so mad at her for doing this, how could she hurt my Dan? How could she not see how perfect he was? I had to repress it all because Dan really couldn't know about how I felt. He wasn't even aware to the fact he was gay at this point. Or at least I think...

Well that look was back, guilt, scared, panic and plain confusion mingled into one super emotion. I knew that it had to be her, it was obvious. The only girl he ever loved was back. What if he left me for her?

But she is totally different now, her "natural tan" flakey and patchy. And her hair destroyed by bleach, leaving it brassy and constantly greasy. She even dressed like a slut too, practically all of her boobs on display and her saggy bum hanging out of some cheapo hot pants. Not like the old brown haired, blue eyed Jesse Dan loved so.

Could Dan find that attractive?

(Dan's pov)

I'm telling Phil tonight. I can't take the guilt anymore. He needs to know, it was just a kiss, that I didn't even reciprocate! I need to get over this bump, I can't loose him because of her.

*Dan's phone rings, caller id says "Jess", he never liked "Jesse"*  
Dan picked up his phone wearily, knowing that the shit had hit the fan, big time.

"Listen, Jesse, before you talk I feel I should tell you that I'm in a relationship. With Phil. That kiss was innapropriate, don't touch me again. It didn't mean anything to me, and to be frank repulsed me. I understand that you may miss me, but you don't. You miss the idea of me."

"No Danny, shhh! You don't mean it! You don't love that emo, you love me! I'm your Jesse, and I know I made a mistake by cheating with Jake but we can get over that! Wait, was it Jake? Or was it Josh? Look, anyway, I love you Danny, we can be together again, I'll come round tonight? Okay?" Jesse slurred her words, obviously drunk. It was 2 in the afternoon and she was totally hammered. What the actual fuck.

"No now listen to me. First, I'm not "Danny" I'm "Dan". And for fuck sake, did I mean so little to you that you can't even remember who you cheated on me with? Second, that "emo" is the love of my life. And if you come near us again, you'll know trouble. Don't try that begging shit on me because I'm over you. OVER YOU. Can you understand that? And third, please sort your fake tan out and dye your hair back brown, you look like a major slut. Thanks, bye". And with that I hung up. I was so proud that I had finally stood up to that bitch.

I got up to walk out of the door to talk to Phil, when I noticed he was already stood at the door way.

"Phil, I need to ta-"

"You kissed her? YOU KISSED HER WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME?" A tear rolled down Phil's cheek and settled on his shirt. Seeping through the material, wetting every fibre, one by one. He had heard everything, shitty shit fuck FUCK.

"No, Phil you don't understand, she forced herself on m-"

"NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU CHEATED ON ME. WITH A SLUT! YES IM SURE YOU "DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT". Isn't that what they all say Dan?" Phil's roar turned to a little whisper, as the hurt kicked in.

I shook my head, unable to comprehend the total shit storm happening before my eyes.

"I'm leaving, don't try and stop me. Go see your slut Dan." Before Dan could even reply Phil had gone, running down the 12 flights of stairs to the lobby, and out of the apartment block.

Without even grabbing shoes, I sprinted after Phil, figuring the elevator would be quicker. After the painful 10 seconds to reach the ground floor, I ran after Phil. Over the pavement, onto the road. Jumping back when he realised a taxi had so very nearly hit me. The rain was poring hard, soaking Phil and I totally. Our shirts becoming transparent. The silence was deafening when time stopped. My heart raced as I shouted "PHIL! LOOK OUT!"

It was too late. A taxi had slammed into Phil as he stood in the centre of the lane. His torso crumpling under the bonnet of the car. Falling under. Smashing his head upon the cold, hard pavement.

Silence.

The next time I was aware of my existence was in the ambulance. The paramedic giving Phil CPR. His innocent, beautiful face almost unrecognisable through injuries. I have no idea how we got here, I just hoped it was some sick dream. I zone out again, and reawaken in hospital. Sitting at Phil's side, praying for this to be over. To have my boyfriend back, to sit at home and play crash bandicoot with him again. That is all I ask.

(3rd person)  
"Mr. Howell? I'm Doctor Grene, I have been looking after your friend here. I'm afraid it's bad news. Dan, we fear he may not make it through the night. His injuries were so servere and he lost a lot of blood. We can't find a donor at this moment in time, do you know anyone that may help? Blood type O-?"

"M-me! Check me, please this is all my fault. I will give it all! Here!" Dan found a sharp corner on the bed that Phil laid in and ran his finger across it, applying pressure, meaning it would surely bleed.

"Mr. Howell, I do not want to have to sedate you again. I understand perfectly well that you are upset right now, but we don't want to have to control you. Do you understand?"

Dan was oblivious to the doctor and began to run his finger tip over the edge again and again, blood poring out from the deep gash.

Darkness fell over once more. Dan had been sedated due to his erratic behaviour.

Finally waking up in the morning, dry mouth and a pounding head, he feebly opened his eyes to look at Phil. But Phil wasn't there. Dan was in his own hospital bed and hooked up to a machine that appeared to be taking his blood. He looked around, noticing Phil across the dingy room. The lights flickered. How long had he been out? He could hear the machine keeping Phil's heart rate bleeping over the ringing in his ears.

"He is okay, Phil is okay. My little fighter..."

(Narrative)  
Dan tossed and turned, being strangled by his sheets. In his own bed. He flicked open his eyes, thankful that this whole thing had been a dream. A dream that made him realise that he loved Phil. The smell of pancakes wafted under his door from the kitchen. Phil didn't know yet! He didn't know that a single dream had changed his life forever. It had showed him a scenario in which Dan had expressed his love for Phil. The whole thing with Jesse had never happened. It was all a figment of Dan's dream.

It was all just a dream.

(Dan's pov)  
I literally jumped from my bed, not even bothering to put on pants or a shirt. And I ran as fast as my legs could take me, I ran to the kitchen where Phil was cooking.

"Morning sleepy head" Phil said cheerily, putting a pancake down on one of the two plates. "I was just coming to give you these."

I ran again and jumped onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist and pulling into kiss him. Phil dropped one of the cheap porcelain plates and hugged me close. Returning the kiss, it was all I ever dreamed of.

Literally.


End file.
